5.04.2016

Some of our best friends are

Women Dominate the Beard Awards - The New York Times

 

I've lost count but…

Anti-Trump Republicans confront a dilemma: Are they ready to help elect Clinton? - The Washington Post

"'You have to bet on sanity,' said GOP strategist Stuart Stevens, who helped lead the campaign of 2012 nominee Mitt Romney."

…is this the world’s first triple irony? Maybe!

Millennials, always millennials

I hate the office;
It cuts in on my social life.

–Dorothy Parker, May, 1919

Translation

"Trump's emergence as the all-but-anointed Republican nominee may change this dynamic. Giving him a monthlong head start to rally skeptical Republicans behind his campaign, while Mrs. Clinton continues to grapple with Mr. Sanders's challenge on the left, could become an intolerable prospect for Democrats eager for a free hand to engage Mr. Trump."

Says the Times.  Meaning, how long before Clinton can change her tune…again…quit pretending she's a progressive and get back to the center-rightish same-old where she thinks she can beat Trump. 

It was not a good day to be hanging around Ted Cruz

SEE IT: Ted Cruz mistakenly smacks wife in face - NY Daily News

Carly Fiorina falls off stage at Indiana event (VIDEO).

Ted Cruz overplayed his hand with the GOP — and now he’s done | New York Post

I refuse to be driven out, thank you very much

As Trump Rises, House Republicans Lose That Sense of Security - The New York Times

"To have a chance at recapturing the House, Mr. Wasserman said, 'Democrats need Bernie to voice strong support for Clinton, and to campaign for her actively in the fall to drive out his voters.'"

Elsewhere in this morning’s Times, in another story about the Indiana primary, we find this curious sentence…

“…In the Democratic contest, Senator Bernie Sanders rebounded from a string of defeats to prevail in Indiana over Hillary Clinton, who largely abandoned the state after polls showed her faring poorly with the predominantly white electorate."

Spin much? Nate Silver’s web site gave Clinton a 95% probability of winning, and Real Clear Politics’ amalgam poll had Hillary winning by about five percent, about the same margin Sanders won by in the real world. Predominantly white or not. 

5.03.2016

Clearly this Cruz person has not discovered Instagram

Ted Cruz Unburdens Himself: 'What I Really Think of Donald Trump' - First Draft. Political News, Now. - The New York Times

"Mr. Trump is…a 'narcissist at a level I don’t think this country has ever seen.'"

Pop quiz: Who said this, and what was she…oops, did I give it away?

Clinton: 'I'm really focused on moving into the general election' | MSNBC

“We’re going to have a tough campaign against a candidate who will literally say or do anything"

Kettle, meet pot.

What's this green stuff in my food?

Homeless Italians go hungry before eating vegan donations | New York Post

 

So let's elect him then

Captain America dodges political entanglements - NY Daily News

"As the star-spangled hero's latest adventure, "Captain America: Civil War," hits theaters late Thursday, Marvel Studios has managed to make him appeal to fans across the political spectrum."

But didn't mean it

Clinton apologizes for saying she’d end coal industry - NY Daily News

 

Woohoo!

Ted Cruz’s dad involved with JFK assassination: Trump - NY Daily News

"I mean, what was he doing?"

Now it’s getting good, right? I can’t wait to hear what the Clintons have been up to.

Oh.

5.02.2016

Progress is where you (not) find it

New Call of Duty is the (not) first game ever to involve shooting dudes in space | Ars Technica

 

So you were wondering about this David Brock guy, right?

The (sorta) nice thing about the internet is when you get tired of being stupid you can always go look something up. For example, David Brock:

The Nation has described Brock as a “conservative journalistic assassin turned progressive empire-builder”; National Review has called him a “right-wing assassin turned left-wing assassin”; and Politico has profiled him as a “former right-wing journalist-turned-pro-Clinton crusader.”

See how easy? Also it’s free. But it might make you more boring at parties, depending on how boring you already are.

Who says he's weak in international relations?

Miss Sweden is a big Donald Trump fan | New York Post

 

Brain freeze

Woman Files $5 Million Lawsuit Against Starbucks For Putting Too Much Ice In Her Drinks

[Definition]

Is this the most uninformative paragraph ever written?

Sanders Fights On for ‘the Strongest Progressive Agenda That Any Political Party Has Ever Seen’ | The Nation

“[It] was a movement, and a movement politics, that forced the Democratic Party to embrace a more muscular civil-rights platform than Harry Truman wanted in 1948; it was a movement, and movement politics, that began to open up the Democratic Party in ways that Lyndon Johnson had resisted in 1964. And it was the dismissal of movements, and movement politics, that proved to be disastrous for the Democratic Party in 1968."

Maybe!

5.01.2016

The perils of living in DC

This new Indiana poll is very bad news for the ‘Stop Trump’ movement - The Washington Post

"So Trump may very well not sweep — or, as in nearby Iowa, he could be surprised. "

Indiana may be nearby Iowa if by “nearby” you mean “they’re both over there somewhere.” But there happens to be a state, the 24th largest state in the country, Illinois, between them. Illinois is bigger than Virginia, Maryland, Delaware, and New Jersey combined. 

Some of these guys should get out of town a little more.

It's sort of ironic, isn't it…

How Hillary Could Win the Election—and Lose the Country - POLITICO Magazine

"Clinton lacks a big, new animating idea in a year when voters in both parties are so discontented they have embraced some pretty bad ones. Like them or loathe them, Donald Trump and Bernie Sanders’s messages are crystal clear and call for dramatic change, while Clinton’s remains spread softly all over the map. And her agenda promises less change than continuation…"

…that in an election cycle powered on both sides of the aisle by dissatisfaction with the status quo, we could wind up with the most status quo candidate of the field elected to the white house. Ironic and depressing.

Still, might as well enjoy this while it lasts. The Times’ Maureen Dowd notes:

"In one of the most gratifying moments of an unhinged campaign, former Speaker John Boehner told Stanford students that Cruz was “Lucifer in the flesh.” Satanists immediately objected, saying it was unfair to their deity."

4.30.2016

Imagine our relief

Satanic Temple explains why Ted Cruz isn’t Lucifer.

 

News from the Garden State

Charge against brawling New Jersey mall Easter bunny downgraded - NY Daily News

"Footage showed shoppers jumping in to break up the scuffle as the furious dad and enraged rabbit exchanged punches. Charles’ bunny head was knocked off amid the chaos."

"We look forward to the bunny being vindicated," Charles’ attorney James Lisa told NJ.com.

OK, I call BS on this

Scientists find a gene that makes you look older than you really are - The Washington Post

"People who carried a specific gene looked two years older, on average, than those who did not carry this gene"

Can you tell a person’s age within two years just by looking? Me, I’d be abnormally lucky to come within ten.

When they hand out goofy studies awards this one should be a real contender.

4.29.2016

She's baaaack

Carly Fiorina Pulls Out All the Stops, and Lyrics, in Joining Ted Cruz - First Draft. Political News, Now. - The New York Times

 

Sit back down and behave, Jeb

Jeb Bush on failed run: 'I'm not going to change' - CNNPolitics.com

"Bush had harsh words for the press, who he labeled an ‘accomplice' of Trump and blamed for a ‘despicable,' ratings-driven approach to news. And he did not rule out a future run of his own, "

Whew! Close call! House reverses requirement that investment advisors be honest

The House Just Voted To Give Wall Street Billions From Americans' Retirement Savings

"The House voted 234 to 188 Thursday to undo a rule proposed by the Labor Department earlier this month that would require anyone getting paid to provide retirement investment advice to act in the best interest of retirees. Many people think that’s already how things work, but it isn’t."

And by a pretty good margin, too. 

(The boldfacing was done by me.)

4.28.2016

One Knight in Indiana

Bobby Knight on Trump: 'That son of a bitch could play for me' - POLITICO

"You know, quite frankly, I don't give a damn about the Republicans," Knight said. "And then on the other hand, I don't give a damn about the Democrats, either.…

"This man, this man, he's not a Republican, he's not a Democrat. At heart, he's just a great American," Knight said.

 

Ahh, the 50's


In this August 26, 1955, photo by Toledo Blade photographer Don Flory, a chain of women and girls are showing the audience how to do the “Bunny Hop.” 

Toledo Blade

Lousy weather and lousy drivers pay off for the Bay State

Self-driving steered to Devens | Boston Herald

"'It could be an ideal test bed, maybe a worst-case scenario (test). If your vehicle can drive in Massachusetts,' it can drive anywhere, said Ryan Harrington, chief of the Technology Policy and Innovation Division at the Volpe National Transportation Systems Center."

Achtung

This city embedded traffic lights in the sidewalks so that smartphone users don’t have to look up - The Washington Post

"Few nations in the world take red traffic lights more seriously than Germany."

In spite of everything…


…it's starting to look like Spring.

There really is a lot of dissonance here, Isn't there?

Obama to visit Flint ‘to call for change’ in water crisis - NY Daily News

"Obama said he plans to 'use my voice to call for change' in Flint."

Here we have Trump and Cruz and Bernie and the Clinton du jour talking—nay, announcing—doing this and doing that and ripping—ripping!—things up on Day One and…Obama—Obama, who actually is the president, “calling for change.” In Flint. 

What’s with that? (And whatever it is, why isn’t Mexico paying?)

But always update

Meteorologist gets interrupted on air with Windows 10 update - NY Daily News

"Windows updates have a reputation for always popping up at the worst times possible. Some people get them during presentations, others get them while editing photos or video and some get them while watching movies. Whichever scenario you're in, it's annoying."

Go ahead, John, tell us what you really think

John Boehner on Ted Cruz: ‘Lucifer in the flesh’ - NY Daily News

"“I have Democrat friends and Republican friends. I get along with almost everyone, but I have never worked with a more miserable son of a b---h in my life.”"

Not in a million years…

House committee votes to make women register for the draft | New York Post

"'A draft is there to put bodies on the front lines to take the hill,' Hunter said. 'The draft is there to get more people to rip the enemies’ throats out and kill them.'"

…am I going to have an opinion about this, oh no no. With the ripping throats out stuff? No way. 

(But for the record I’m pretty sure the military isn’t interested in drafting anybody any time soon. Would a draft be good for the country? Ahhh…)

And you thought nukes were your problem, Bunky

Inside North Korea’s secret sex parties | New York Post

 

Or, in other words, a vote for Clinton is a vote for more of the same

Clinton is the insider who’s surviving in the year of the outsider - The Washington Post

"The successes of Trump and Clinton underscore important nuances in the sentiments coursing through the two parties. While voters in both share a frustration with the state of the nation’s economy and politics, Republicans blame their own leaders as much as anybody else and are, therefore, more eager for a radical fix, whereas Democrats still believe their elected leaders can bring change from within."