Henk Haagsman, a professor of meat sciences at Utrecht University, and his Dutch colleagues are working on growing artificial pork meat out of pig stem cells. They hope to grow a form of minced meat suitable for burgers, sausages and pizza toppings within the next few years.
Pleeeease not pizza. Anything but pizza. And bratwurst. Pizza and bratwurst. You can have all the rest of it, OK, Dutch colleagues? But leave the pizza and the bratwurst out of it. There has to be something left to believe in - just leave us something. Please.
Speaking of which, it's take-the-garbage-to-the-curb day. Wednesday. And every Wednesday morning I check the tomato thing. It's sort of a round ball in my refrigerator that looks like a tomato, pretty much. A sort of tomatoey color with a greenish stem on top. Not a real tomato, because you can't get real tomatoes from grocery stores any more. Mine - my tomato thing - been in the fridge for a month now and still looks perfectly "fresh."
When I was in high school in Duluth I used to do gardening work for a neighbor every summer, and one day he told me to dig up his compost pile and put it on his flower beds. It was about a waist-high pile with grass clippings on top but I didn't have to dig too far down before it all turned into sort of mud. Which is, I guess, what a compost pile is supposed to do.
So I dug the whole thing up, right down to ground level. And there, right at the bottom, right in the center of the bottom, or where the bottom used to be before I dug the top up, I found a nice, juicy looking, bright red maraschino cherry.